bad...

i'm starting tomorrow with my new job. i'm excited about it even though i still have qualms about taking it. i am in a rush to start working since i am not really comfortable on being a dependent person. I must really be egoistic and I pay a price for it.

i don't have peace on the job that i took. i just have 2 issues namely; 1st long working hours, 2nd salary. it's just whining, what i'm doing right now, but hey, i want to whine so sue me.

i agreed to take the job because i need income. i agreed to the terms because i was desperate. now that everything is ready, i dread tomorrow. but i'm going. i'm going because i'm still desperate and i still need an income. nothing's going to change that. now i do not expect a long stint with this company, but i figured since it's a start for me here, no matter how seemingly unfair and unjust it is, i might as well set a goal for myself.

here goes. i left my country with some debt. i did not run away from them, i'm still paying online. now, no matter how bad my start is here in Singapore, i might as well make sure something good is going to come out of it. i plan to stay with this company for at least 6 months, that is if they didn't boot me out first. while i'm at it with them, i will make sure i am able to zero out my debt back home. now that's another reason to go on. despite everything that is so wrong with the agreement.

i'm feeling so low right now, like a person who just got robbed right in his face. i'm very vulnerable. but i have to keep sight of the good things. i have work. i will be able to finance my stay here. i won't be dependent anymore. i will have income. and i will be able to pay off my debt.

i just have to keep reminding myself of these things, otherwise i won't be a happy employee. darn it, is there a person who is such? a happy employee? nah...

pay off debt. got work. no longer dependent. pay off debt. got work...and it goes on...