...and never regret anything that made you smile... said a character from an Indian movie I happened to chance by called Guzaarish. Pardon the spelling if I wrote it wrongly. It has only been a week since I have seen the film, yet the words cannot ring more true now.
As usual, as is the case of man, and I am only but a human being myself, I get lost in moments of ecstasy, literally. And when one is in such a rush of emotions, he runs being oblivious to consequences, the most inevitable of which is the fact that the moment will end. A moment of joy, seemingly unending at that time, yet over at the snap of a finger, or at the snap of a chord most often called patience.
It started with what seemed to be a vindication of a faithful adoration, held steadfast over every possible hindrance; logic, reason and common sense. There is something poetic about the seeming triumph of bearing the torch of love for someone for over a year, against all odds, as the song goes. And it was indeed a wonderful world as the movie soundtrack went. For over three weeks or so. It was green trees and red roses and blue skies and white clouds. It was goodnight kisses and everlasting hugs, good mornings and "have you taken your meals yet?" smses. And even jokes over silly matters like the Filipino accent and how good it sounds.It almost looked like a promise of love.
Yet it was anything but that. For though I wanted the moment to never end, it was not meant to last. Some people's stars are simply skewed and out of sync, some people's fate is just not for movies, some of us are just born unlucky in love. And over a silly misunderstanding! What a way indeed to finish off a seemingly hard won battle against the rough seas of circumstance,only to succumb to one's self. Yet to push on and bicker about the mundane, same old unresolved issues, new silly ones added and without love and commitment is simply pointless. For what are we here for anyway, but for love and companionship, for understanding and sharing moments both good and bad, for laughter, for dreams, and for life? As short as it is, it's definitely worth more, a life shared together, than a dragging one led alone.But if the other hand lets go upon the silliest whim, what would make it hold on when the strongest tempest comes-a-hauling?
I believe I've had my self ready should this time came. I have always had myself believe it couldn't happen twice. Silly old me. There aren't any what-ifs this time. There aren't anything more I could do. That was the best of me. That was all I was. This time though, I will allow myself to shed some tears. And they won't be solely tears of sadness or sorrow. They will be tears of joy too, for no matter how seemingly fleeting it all was, these are moments that definitely made me smile, and I won't regret moments as such. Precious short moments where we truly feel alive.
