ever heard of the flea story? i heard it first back in college. the flea who lived at the back of the bunny. the bunny's hair being so soft and smooth, and comfortable. the point was will the flea climb the tip of the bunny's fur and see the world and what it has to offer. or stick to the silky smooth fur.
its a reflection of how we as humans tend to dwell in our coat of bunny. how we supposedly miss a lot of opportunities to discover the beauty of life because like the flea, we are afraid to leave our comfort zones. it's a story that made me decide to start anew and take my leap of faith. i refused to be the scared flea, i wanted to get my piece of the world.
what i discovered however was quite frustrating. i am still a flea. though i braved the uncertainty of the world outside my bunny, i found myself just looking for yet another bunny to cuddle in. i am again slapped with the harshness of reality. the futility of it all gets me down sometimes because i have yet to convince myself that i am actually going to get what i bargained for which is not much since i don't really think i had a lot to lose. i didn't think i had anything to lose.
then i saw my reflection off the window of the train. i didn't recognize who i saw. it was a different person, i was sure i didn't see me. i still looked the same, yet i wasn't the person i knew.
i am losing my smile.
it's one of the first few things i've noticed since i came here. the people of singapore have a lot to smile about, but they don't do so. not just the chinese nor the indians nor any other race living in this country. even the jolly filipino seems to be joining the fad of not smiling.
i have yet comprehend the point of it all. i was a happy flea. i was a happy brave flea. how can a seemingly better bunny take away my smile? was it all wrong to begin with? everything that i worked so hard for...my final jump from my comfort bunny. is life just teaching a lesson by letting me experience the futility of it all?
after all, i am still yet only a flea and i will always need a bunny
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