yes, ive changed job...how do i put it? the bamboo has snapped? given up? been broken?
i never thought this will be coming from my mouth, or maybe it's too early to tell, but i'd say it anyway...these people suck, from whichever way or point of view you look at it...cause i thought they only suck from my previous company's side, that they were so cheap there that they complain about the littlest thing while paying for the cheapest price...apparently, they're really all cheap and they really got nothing better to do but to complain about the most ridiculous things...even in cents worth...
yes, hear it from a customer service personnel...who has to put up with silly demands...yet that's only one aspect of my new stress, i mean new job. i was very optimistic about getting some sort of training as my previous company never gave any...my new one is just as bad as having no training at all...apart from having a seemingly incompetent trainor whose only qualification is having stayed with the company for 30 years, yet having no notion of what real teaching is and that is imparting knowledge the best way possible,you are also expected to know the ropes right there and then, asking the same output as the people who've already been there for a long time. or maybe not but they never told us otherwise too!
maybe i am becoming more like them...having nothing better to do but to complain. the thing is, i know my complain has basis. but then again i'm sure that's what all people who complain think.
i'd like to say things can only get better. unfortunately, i've already said that before. and up to the last moment i was with the ex-company, i never felt that it got better. again i am growing old, as i can feel the light of optimism and positivity getting dimmer. slowly i am accepting facts as i see it and letting go of ideals and wishful thinking...
yet i know my core remains steadfast. i know what i'm made of. i'd probably read this entry in the future and laugh about how i blew out of proportions the silly issues i now have. i am still the bamboo who sways with the wind and bends to its will
no, to say the bambo is broken is definitely untrue...for i know i am still swaying and yet i remain grounded. i just changed vessel...still on the same furious river, of complains and demands, yet i know this is what i do best...and i'll sail on...
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
and it pains me...
it happened a while back, say a couple of months ago...i just found myself in a position where i wish i had acted in contrast to what i had actually done...
i had a colleague who was sacked a year ago. for what reason, i could only guess and that's already out of context here. i was a bit closer to her sister since i knew her and worked with her longer. a year or so after she left, i got a missed call on my phone. i called the number back and at first i did not even recognize or know who it was. she was back in singapore and was having trouble with her pass and she was getting frantic as she needed to exit the country for immigration purposes. she was asking for help financially.
i am not a rich person, but neither am i short on cash. for her to think of running to me must have been very difficult for her as we were not that close to each other. it could only be out of desperate need. i said i had nothing to spare.
thinking back, i couldnt help but feel bad about it. firstly, i was actually in a position to help, and i could help if only i really wanted to. secondly, i could only think of mundane excuses why i said no and that is i didnt know how she was gonna pay me and that it was so troublesome to meet up with her just to give her the money. my slow mind never thought of internet transfer and that it was actually not an issue. and lastly, i feel like ive already lost an integral part of myself morally when i put my convenience first before her need.
up to the present time, i still have this feeling of shame towards myself. i did try to call her sister 2 days after our initial contact. i was asking if it was still necessary for her to borrow money. she had already left for malaysia, probably short on cash and that my attempt to help was already unnecessary. though i feel like i tried to make it right, i know i still lost it when i refused to help right there and then when my colleague was actually in need, when it mattered.
i dont know what to make of this episode in my life. i mean, even tests put before you are only taken once. and i failed. and it still pains me...perhaps being aware of it now would help me make the right choice in the future if ever an opportunity presents itself and i find myself in the same position again...perhaps id have it right then...
i had a colleague who was sacked a year ago. for what reason, i could only guess and that's already out of context here. i was a bit closer to her sister since i knew her and worked with her longer. a year or so after she left, i got a missed call on my phone. i called the number back and at first i did not even recognize or know who it was. she was back in singapore and was having trouble with her pass and she was getting frantic as she needed to exit the country for immigration purposes. she was asking for help financially.
i am not a rich person, but neither am i short on cash. for her to think of running to me must have been very difficult for her as we were not that close to each other. it could only be out of desperate need. i said i had nothing to spare.
thinking back, i couldnt help but feel bad about it. firstly, i was actually in a position to help, and i could help if only i really wanted to. secondly, i could only think of mundane excuses why i said no and that is i didnt know how she was gonna pay me and that it was so troublesome to meet up with her just to give her the money. my slow mind never thought of internet transfer and that it was actually not an issue. and lastly, i feel like ive already lost an integral part of myself morally when i put my convenience first before her need.
up to the present time, i still have this feeling of shame towards myself. i did try to call her sister 2 days after our initial contact. i was asking if it was still necessary for her to borrow money. she had already left for malaysia, probably short on cash and that my attempt to help was already unnecessary. though i feel like i tried to make it right, i know i still lost it when i refused to help right there and then when my colleague was actually in need, when it mattered.
i dont know what to make of this episode in my life. i mean, even tests put before you are only taken once. and i failed. and it still pains me...perhaps being aware of it now would help me make the right choice in the future if ever an opportunity presents itself and i find myself in the same position again...perhaps id have it right then...
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