life's games

to dwell on life's challenges can really be a drag. especially if the odds are against us. i was ready to back off, pack my luggage, and basically just throw in the towel. hasn't really been that easy for me here anyway. my month in the lion city was good, but not particularly rewarding personally for myself. i mean, i am here as a tourist but not quite so in motive. plan was to find a job and move on. being self supporting since graduation, the thought of not even being able to buy my pack of cigarette is really not easy to bear. although it's all ego on the lose, that's basically all that i have.

so a couple of days ago was the lowest so far. was waiting for a call, to confirm a meeting, basically to set things in motion, so I'll be able to start supporting my stay here. so i can move on. call never came. i made myself busy, to cope. i did the laundry, ironed clothes, cleaned the room. creating lines to tell my sister while in the process. i was ready with my rebuttals in case she insisted i stayed. my spirit was just crushed. i was just ready to give up.

and as life would once again have it, playing with my emotions, pushing me further, reiterating that it's still in charge, that i am just a pawn, my phone rang. got my call. wheel's set in motion. hope's flared anew.

every time i reflect on my decision of leaving everything behind and moving here to start anew, i find no doubt about it. somehow, i have peace. everything just worked out so smoothly. it scares me sometimes, the seemingly perfect process of relocating. still got doubts though. nothing is guaranteed after all. but what happened last Friday is something i will always hold on to. somehow, when all else is lost, life itself will give you a nudge. it gave me back my faith in life's games. I'm not giving up. I'll keep on playing. till the games are over