i'm easy...too easy

everyday, we get to know a little bit more about ourselves. what happens though when the knowledge is something which we do not welcome? it maybe something we've been trying to deny, to hide, or to overcome. yet in one way or another, it seems to creep up on us and voila, stares us up straight in the face.

i've always denied that i was an easy fellow in more ways than i'd like to admit. i, like most people, always want to have the easy way, in work, in life, and i don't even wanna say it, yes, in love.

it's scary how easily i'm impressed nowadays. i've always thought i was one of the fastidious few, with high standards, not easily pleased. could it be because i'm nearing the big 30? i seem to get awe-inspired very easily recently. like get me someone who can construct a basic english sentence that is flawless in grammar and ill be near applauding the person right away. if the person actually makes sense with the statements he or she is making, then it'll be a standing ovation from me. and if the subject would in anyway be something dear, then im already swept away.

thus is my current state. give me a nice sincere smile, even if the teeth aint perfect, even if the make could be too thin, even if the place is too far, ill be there.

it's crazy how a meeting at dawn, after getting all boozed up earlier in the night, then getting the invite for a sleepover at 2 in the morning,could send me shivers before i sleep and a smile without reason that cant be helped. my busy dawns are now becoming unhealthy for me. well, they've always been unhealthy anyway.

i know its not meant to be. again im finding myself in a one way street, you just get that feeling, that conscious feeling that youre treading alone sometimes, when the silence gets too deafening, when the battery of the phone seems to diminish sooner because of constant checking of incoming messages when nothing actually arrives, when you actually start feeling low and used,of course with mutual consent hehehe...

so there, i've learned the promise of a one night stand...the funny thing is, i'm actually still hoping it could have a chance...lol