ive been in a state of cold nostalgia for over a week now...biting me to the bone...gritting my veins...sometimes i wonder why the hell do i even bother? im very much aware of the futility of gloating over the past...ive actually believed myself to be the forward looking type...happy go lucky guy...
lately ive been stopping on my track a lot and always looking back on my life...sometimes laughing over photos taken then, smiling and trying to remember how i felt at that certain point in my life but mostly i have this bitter sensation...from where i cannot even begin to understand.
do i have that much regret in life or how i spent what is already over? im sure not. will i live it differently? probably some aspects but then again i will still contest that. perhaps it was too good and the fact that its over makes me pissed...a little too much?
maybe its the last reason...probably so. i just cant freakin let go of what i had. and this statement is so contradicting since i dont have it anymore so whats there to let go of? then again its not something material anyway. and so much to say yet i choose to blabber about semantics...
maybe i just need closure...that makes sense...
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