i just turned 25 yesterday. im jobless. im a foreigner in singapore. i just arrived a week ago. i have 60 sgd in my wallet. i am not expecting any money to be sent from the philippines or anywhere else. i smoke. i have not really made up my mind about quitting yet.
with these things being my primary concern at present, my best friend, currently working in Saudi, working on his annulment in the philippines, dropped a question through YM "at your age, aren't you pressured to have a girlfriend?"
my fingers froze.
why? should? i? be? pressured? i didnt have time to retaliate, he gave me a disclaimer not to take offense before dropping the bomb. i said no. i am not pressured. just a little background: i've only had 2 relationships in my life. the last one ended when i was 19. so it's getting people worried. it worries me too sometimes. but going back, should i actually be pressured to have a girlfriend jusy because i turned a year older? i just explained that i recently took a chance at cupid's love potion but unfortunately, it didnt have the right mix.
point is, should i compromise my standards, should i force myself, should i keep playing around?
what for? to keep appearances? to dispel doubts? to satisfy norms?
ive got loads of stuff on my mind. i dont know where to get my next payment for my loan. i dont know what'll happen come the day my pass expires. i dont know how i'd be able to buy cigarettes next week.
so, am i pressured at 25? fuck...im as young as i will always want to be. to hell with society's dirty, negative and evil norms.
i will not compromise love!
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